Ummmmmmmmmmm

THE MALL- I do not go to the mall that often. I usually go to find shoes for the kids or buy a birthday present. I also do not travel much so I do not know how malls are set up in different parts of the country. I have a question, is it unusual to have a rim shop in the mall? I am not talking about on the ground floor in the end with a garage attached. I am talking about sitting right next to the food court in what used to be a jewelry store.

WET FLOOR- I have come to the conclusion that some people do not have any home training. I you are walking down the hall and one side of the floor is wet and the other side is bone azz dry why in the hell would you walk on the wet side. Did your mother not mop when you were young. Walking on a freshly mopped floor was a no no in my house growing up. You just delayed what you were planning to do for a couple of minutes until the floor dried. Thirsty, swallow a little spit it will tide you over. Need to use the bathroom, cross your legs for a couple of minutes. I cannot express the anger I felt when a woman decided not to take the five steps to the left that it would have taken for her not to walk on my wet floor. It id not help at all that she had her two young sons with her. I almost lost it when one little boy decided to walk around in circles while saying; “look mommy I can seen my foot prints”. Help me Jesus.

GAS- The price of gas is killing me but I have found that if I drive sixty and under I use a lot less gas. So now I am that guy driving 55 on the freeway at 7:49 a.m.. You should have got up a little earlier. It is not my fault that you have to be at work before 8:00 a.m.. My get to work time is 8ish. My boss is cool and yours is not.

SNACKERS- Whoever came up with the idea to put a nice juicy chicken strip on a soft warm bun with lettuce and spicy may is a genius. No ifs, and, or buts about it. KFC snackers are the bomb. If they were to throw a tomato on there and not raise the price, I would write a thank you letter to R&D.


RESTROOM- I went to lunch today with my coworkers. It was a small chic type place where the waiters were fancy jeans, black t-shirts and sandals. You know the place that charge starbuck prices on coffee. During the meal, I had to go to the restroom. It is one of those unisex restrooms with only one stall. Someone had earlier left a little mess in the restroom. There was a paper towel on the sink and some tissue on the floor. Is it weird that I took a paper towel and picked these items up out of fear that the next person that went in would have thought it was I that left the mess?

Steam

Do you ever get e-mails from co-workers that would cause you to curse somebody out in the outside world? I have gotten a couple of these e-mails as of late. The bad thing is that the e-mails are concerning what is commonly known as the “sunshine club” which I was coerced into being on the committee for. Assholes can ruin a pleasant work environment. The first one I got upset me a little but I understand where the woman is coming from though her anger was misguided. The one I received today really got the blood to boiling. The guy is just your typical middle age suburban white male asshole. I think everyone has had the pleasure of working with at least one. I promptly deleted the e-mail after receiving it. I had to put on some slow worship music to calm me down. I am talking about Hallelujah by Marvin Sapp and No Weapon by Fred Hammond in loop. Once I calmed down a little, I walked down the hall hoping to see him. It must be my lucky day because he was just turning the corner to go into the restroom. I followed him in gave him the I want to kick your ass stare with the double yeah head nod and then proceeded to smile and ask him about his day. I am sure he thinks I am crazy now. That is the last he will hear of the matter from me. I have brushed my shoulders of the matter. But if we were to so happen to be in the same bar one night and a brawl was to break out………….


I am now having visions of a chop to the neck HC style.

I think the tide is about to turn

Things have not been peachy as of late. My car has been giving me the blues, my wife lost her job, and my son’s goldfish died. I am glad to say that I am blessed beyond words. I am still happy. I am still enjoying the honeymoon period. My wife lost her job at the beginning of February because she was yet to pass her CRT test. It is funny because the place where she was working does not require her to be certified. The boss claimed that they were coming down on her about getting everyone certified (liar liar pants on fire). The ironic thing is if she had taken a job that required her to be certified she could have got her temporary certification for a year. She would not have to pass her test until this July. It is all good now because she passed in the middle of February. She has a new job that pays more plus she will only be working on the weekends so we do not have to worry about paying someone to take care of the kids this summer. That cost me about six hundred dollars month last summer. My car is finally just about running right. I still have one minor problem that I need to get fixed then I will be ready to start restoring it to its glory days of long gone by. My wife had to drop me off from work and pick me up every day when my car was down. That meant an extra trip every day, which is not good with gas being the price it is and my working twenty-five miles from home. My sons gold fish died but he had only had it for about twelve hours. I think it was the high level of chlorine in the water. I made the mistake of telling my son this. He told everyone that would listen that I killed his goldfish by putting too much chlorine in the water. He said I should have only put one chlorine in the water instead of two. R.I.P. Goldilocks Snickers aka Rufus.

My Baby Has Been Bad

I could write a good blues song about the things that my car has been putting my through as of late. I feel Charlie Wilson’s pain when he sang, “You can’t keep running in and out of my life” on Yearning For Your Love. That is what my car has been doing running in and out of my life. It picks great times to act up for example:


It was the Friday of the big move at my job (Which is a post in itself to come soon). To sum it all up my computer was in the corner and all my stuff was packed up so my boss said that I could have the rest of the day off on her at around eleven. That is what you call a good day so I head over to the credit union to cash my check from my second job. I had the rest of the day planned. I was going to get home by twelve and have lunch with my wife at the China Inn and be in the bed by one. My car had other plans. With money in pocket and smile on my face, I hopped in my ride turned the key it kicks over like a champion but just will not start. I sit there and try and try then give up and call my wife to pick me up. Day ruined.

It was a Friday a couple of weeks later. The day is going great all of my work is finished for the day. I am heading to McDonald’s for a double cheese and some delicious golden fries. I get to the car turn the ignition it turns over like a champion but just will not start. I get out and try wiggling this and bumping that. It does nothing. I say a little prayer and read a Bible Verse. It does nothing. I curse it and kick the left rear passenger tire three times. It does nothing. I walk to Burger King and get a whopper with cheese value meal eat it, come back, and try it again. It does nothing. Day ruined

It was Sunday morning and I was heading to Church with my son to give thanks to the Lord for blessing my car to run a whole week without any trouble. We grab our jackets and head to the car. We get settled in I turn the ignition it turns over like a champ but just will not start. I say forget it and we decide that we will foot it to Church since it is only about a ten-minute walk. My son was walking somewhat slowly so I put him on my shoulders. Now every Sunday when it is time to go to Church he wants to walk (with the price of gas he may just get that chance).